(Catch up time. I've been writing this, one sentence at a time, since
July 22nd. I'm so far behind, I may never catch up. --Ed.)

Ah, the Progressive New South.

I am in Augusta, Georgia, at the Jewish Community Center for a Baptist
wedding reception. We have just passed the "Electric Slide" portion of
the night, and progressed onto the "La Vida Loca" section. I am of the
personal belief that Ricky Martin may be personally resposible for
lowering the marriage rate this year; after all, I know I wouldn't want
this played at MY reception. Sorry, Sandy, but I'm gonna ride this Ricky
Martin thing out.

Nonetheless, Jason Jacobs and his beautiful bride Jewelia braved the La
Vida reprise and tied the knot today.

I foolishly expected the trip from Charlotte to Augusta to take four
hours, I allowed myself plenty of driving time, and much to my surprise, I
arrived at the church in exactly two. Rather than sit in my rental for
the next two hours, I wandered into the church. A lady inside wanted to
know if I was the sound technician, and for once I happily answered,
"no."  I made myself comfortable and waited for the crowd to show up.

The ceremony was very nice; there was lots of music. Granted, every
wedding I've seen has some organ playing or whatnot, but this is the
first one I've seen that featured singing, and lots of it.

This was also the first time I've ever seen a minister openly admit that
human love is basically fickle by nature. The bigger message was, of
course, "put your love in God instead," but the initial statement was
still not standare fare for a wedding speech, in my experience.

At the reception, the Father of the Bride introduced the newlyweds, and
for a brief second, completely blanked on Jason's name. The pause was
long enough to be funny, and short enough to not be sad; I'll chalk it up
to stage fright.

Queens students, past and present, filled the reception hall. It was very
strange seeing the people that I haven't since my junior year.

I was back in Orange County within hours of the ceremony. This whirlwind
tour of the South filled me with a deep nostalgia and ...hey...maybe even
a sense of regret. At the same time, I was busy encouraging other people
to drop their lives and move to cities across the world. Go figure. I
still honestly think the concept of throw-your-shit-in-a-bag-and-cross-
the-globe is a good idea...it's just not so black and white. You have all
been warned.

Jason and Jewelia's honeymoon is now over, and they've settled down to
the tedious business of mailing out hundreds of thank-you cards. I got
mine in the mail the other day, thanking me for the wok I got them as a
wedding gift. It was listed in their wedding registry at Sears, and I
couldn't resist; it seemed like a ingeniously acceptable tacky gift,
functionality notwithstanding.

In a few weeks, I'm going to another wedding, this time in Los Angeles. I
guess I'm a nuptual roadie this season. How trendy.

--ryan.